Borrowed Goals

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Not every goal that sounds good is good for you.

Your timeline is probably full of “shoulds” and shiny benchmarks, we can mistake someone else’s dream for our own. Today, we are taking inventory — not of your progress, but of your motives. Because if you don’t define what success means to you, someone else will hand you a version that looks great in photos but feels empty in your chest.

Borrowed Values Become Burdens

Somewhere between setting your targets and scrolling past everyone’s big wins, you have to ask yourself a hard question:

Is this thing I’m chasing something I deeply desire, or something I’ve absorbed because everyone around me seems to want it too? If you’ve ever found yourself climbing the ladder only to realize it’s leaning against the wrong wall, you know what I mean.

It’s easy to inherit someone else’s goals. The polished posts. The mentor’s blueprint. The podcast playbook. They’re everywhere. And they’re persuasive! But goals built on borrowed values eventually become burdens.

Because when your ambition is rooted in approval, not alignment, you’ll hit your milestone and still feel like something’s missing.

The Cost of Misaligned Goals

Let me say this plainly: You can be wildly successful and still feel empty. You can check every box and still question why you’re restless.

And often, it’s because the goal you hit was never truly yours to begin with.

We don’t talk enough about the toll of chasing the wrong thing — or how seductive it can be to build a life that photographs well but doesn’t fit.

So How Do You Know If It’s Yours?

Start with how you feel when no one’s watching.

Borrowed goals usually leave clues:

• You hit a milestone but don’t feel fulfilled.

• You can’t explain why you want it — just that you’re “supposed” to.

• You dread the work even when you're good at it.

When your goals come from the wrong place, even your wins can wear you down.

Don’t Chase. Align.

So this week, I ask you, “What do you want?

I’m asking, What does the current version of you attract? Remember, you don’t get what you want. You get who you are.

Reclaiming the Life That’s Actually Yours

So here’s your invitation — not to burn it all down, but to get honest.

Ask yourself:

1. What do I actually want — if no one else’s opinion counted?

2. What part of my current pursuit energizes me, and what part just exhausts me?

3. Who am I trying to make proud — the real me, or someone I’m still trying to impress?

Your answers don’t have to be public. But they do need to be true.

If you are reading this far…

I hope this message finds you well. I’m sharing from my heart in hopes that you will be inspired to unearth and live out your God-given purpose. Hopefully, something I said resonated. I would love to hear from you if so. Please feel free to reach out to me on social media. FYI: I’m mostly active on Instagram these days. If you were forwarded this message, you can subscribe here to receive thoughts like this directly in your inbox. And don’t forget to check out the latest episode of my podcast, ConvoRoom with Mark Allen Patterson.

See you next week,