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The start of a new year is filled with hope, intention, and the thrill of possibility. But before we dive into the future, there’s something crucial we need to do: take an honest look at where we are right now. This is the heart of radical acceptance — and it’s a concept that’s changed my life.

Radical acceptance is a practice rooted in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), developed by psychologist Marsha M. Linehan. It’s about fully embracing reality—not the version we wish for, but the one that exists right now. It’s not resignation or defeat. It’s the foundation for growth.

This is how Linehan put it, “You have to radically accept that you want what you don't have and it's not a catastrophe.”

For me, a few years ago, radical acceptance meant looking at my circumstances with clarity and grace and saying: This is where I’m starting from. And from that starting point, I can either choose to change it or remain in the same place where I chose acceptance.

A few years ago, when I lived in Florida, I stepped into a Publix supermarket for a quick grocery run. Near the entrance stood one of those antique scales. For years, I’d avoided scales entirely—out of sight, out of mind, right? But for some reason, that day, I decided to step on.

The number staring back at me was a shock. It felt like the weight of years of neglect, avoidance, and denial all condensed into a single moment. I didn’t have a scale at home and hadn’t made monitoring my weight a priority. Standing there, I could’ve ignored it. I could’ve walked away. But I didn’t. I let myself feel the discomfort, and then I accepted the fact that I was overweight. This was my starting point.

Half the battle was over in that moment. Acceptance freed me to move forward.

Fast forward a few months: My wife, Charmaine, our daughter, Hannady, and I had moved to Colorado. Something about the crisp mountain air and the change of scenery converted us into outdoorsy people.

Coincidentally, that was around the time I heard about 75 Hard, created by entrepreneur Andy Frisella. If you’re not familiar, it’s a mental toughness challenge that pushes you to show up for yourself every single day for 75 days. It’s not for the faint of heart:

It wasn’t easy, but it was exactly what I needed. Over those 75 days, I lost nearly 20 pounds, became more intentional about what I was putting into my body, and discovered a new level of mental clarity. During that time, I also read James Clear’s "Atomic Habits" — a book that completely reframed how I thought about progress. Clear’s emphasis on small, consistent actions—the idea of marginal gains—was a revelation.

Now, here we are in January 2025, and I’m ready to do it all over again. Starting January 6, I’ll be tackling 75 Hard for the second time, and this time, I’ll be chronicling the journey right here in this newsletter. I’ll share the wins, the struggles, and everything in between. My hope is that it inspires you to take on a challenge of your own—whatever that might look like for you.

That moment on the scale at Publix taught me a lesson I’ll carry forever: Change doesn’t begin with denial or distraction. It begins with acceptance. Radical acceptance is the first step in becoming the best version of ourselves because it grounds us in reality. It frees us from the weight of “should” and “might have been” and lets us focus on what can be.

So let me ask you: What truths have you been avoiding that, if faced, could set you on the path to becoming the best version of yourself? Maybe it’s your health, your career, your relationships, or your mindset. Whatever it is, start with acceptance. The journey ahead may not be easy, but it will always be worth it.

Here’s to facing the truth and unlocking what’s possible—together.

I hope this message finds you well. I’m sharing from my heart in hopes that you will be inspired to unearth and live out your God-given purpose. Hopefully, something I said resonated. I would love to hear from you if so. Please feel free to reach out to me on social media. FYI: I’m mostly active on Instagram these days. If you were forwarded this message, you can subscribe here to receive thoughts like this directly in your inbox. And don’t forget to check out the latest episode of my podcast, ConvoRoom with Mark Allen Patterson.

See you next week,