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In This Edition of Remarkable Monday
You Are Not Alone
"How can I show unconditional love like Christ while setting boundaries?"
If you’ve ever wrestled with this question, you’re not alone. For many, the call to love unconditionally feels at odds with the idea of saying “no” or protecting one’s peace. Yet, the truth is, boundaries are not barriers to love. They are tools that allow love to thrive—both for others and for yourself.
Let’s unpack how you can live out Christ’s example of unconditional love while maintaining healthy, God-honoring boundaries.
Boundaries by the Numbers
According to a recent survey by the Thriving Center of Psychology, nearly 4 in 5 Americans (78%) identified setting healthy boundaries as a top interpersonal goal for their New Year’s resolutions. These efforts focus on areas like prioritizing self-care, learning to say no, making time for themselves, intentionally spending time with loved ones, and reducing time spent on social media.
Love and Boundaries Are Not Opposites
When we look to Jesus, we find the perfect balance of unconditional love and boundaries. His love was limitless—He fed the hungry, healed the sick, and forgave sins. But He also knew when to step back, prioritize His mission, and even say “no.”
For example:
In Luke 5:16, Jesus often withdrew to pray, showing that time with God came before the crowd’s demands.
In John 11:6, He delayed going to Lazarus, following God’s timing, not others' expectations.
In Matthew 16:23, He rebuked Peter when Peter’s actions conflicted with His mission.
These moments reveal that love and boundaries are not opposites. Instead, boundaries protect your ability to love freely, sustainably, and in alignment with God’s purpose for your life.
Love Fully Without Feeling Depleted
Imagine a life where you could love others fully without feeling depleted or taken advantage of. Picture relationships where mutual respect flourishes, and you can show up as your best self. This is the power of boundaries. They ensure that your yes comes from a place of joy, not obligation, and that your no is rooted in grace, not guilt.
Here’s how you can embrace this balance:
Define What Love Means: Love seeks the best for others, but it doesn’t mean enabling harmful behaviors or sacrificing your well-being.
Communicate Clearly and Kindly: Saying “no” doesn’t mean shutting someone out. A simple, loving response like, “I care deeply, but I need to step back for my health or priorities,” can show both respect and empathy.
Prioritize Spiritual Health: Time with God through prayer and Scripture equips you to love from a place of fullness, not exhaustion.
Encourage Growth: True love inspires others to take responsibility and grow, rather than fostering dependence.
Reflect and Respond
This week, I challenge you to reflect on the relationships and responsibilities in your life. Where might you need to set clearer boundaries? Where could you show more love without overextending yourself?
Take a moment to pray about it. Ask for wisdom and discernment to love as Christ loves—freely, abundantly, and wisely. Remember: boundaries don’t diminish your love; they make it sustainable.
Here’s to a remarkable week of balancing unconditional love and boundaries with grace, purpose, and faith. Let’s make it count!
Resources
Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend.
Unconditional Love in the Bible:
John 15:13: “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 defines love as patient, kind, and not self-seeking—qualities compatible with healthy boundaries.
Proverbs on Wisdom:
Proverbs 4:23: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Setting boundaries protects your heart and energy to give freely without resentment.
If you are reading this far…
I hope this message finds you well. I’m sharing from my heart in hopes that you will be inspired to unearth and live out your God-given purpose. Hopefully, something I said resonated. I would love to hear from you if so. Please feel free to reach out to me on social media. FYI: I’m mostly active on Instagram these days. If you were forwarded this message, you can subscribe here to receive thoughts like this directly in your inbox. And don’t forget to check out the latest episode of my podcast, ConvoRoom with Mark Allen Patterson.
See you next week,
