Was this email forwarded to you? Subscribe here.

As an introvert living an extrovert’s life, I often question whether I have what it takes to be a truly influential leader. Social events and networking can be exhausting, and I sometimes feel like I don’t measure up to those who naturally thrive in these settings. I recently had a moment that made me reflect deeply on this.

While trying to fill a talent booking vacancy, I reached out to a friend for some contacts. With a bit of humor, she said, “You don’t know anybody, do you?” I laughed and replied, “I don’t need to know everyone. I know you!” It was a light-hearted exchange, but it left me thinking about the assumptions we make about leadership and influence.

This experience taught me that leadership is less about knowing everyone and more about knowing the right people and fostering meaningful connections. It’s not about quantity but the quality of your relationships and how you use them to create positive outcomes. Here are five habits I’ve learned that can help build a strong leadership foundation, no matter your personality type:

Instead of trying to network with everyone, focus on cultivating deep, meaningful relationships with a select few who align with your goals and values. This strategy not only conserves energy but also leads to more impactful partnerships.

A well-placed joke or light-hearted comment can break down barriers and build trust. When my friend teased me about not knowing anyone, I turned it into a moment of connection by acknowledging my reliance on her. Humor, when used appropriately, can make you more relatable and approachable, key traits of influential leaders.

My initial reaction to my friend’s comment made me realize that leadership isn’t about being the most connected person but rather the most strategic. Knowing the right people who can open doors and provide support when needed is more valuable than having a long list of contacts. Focus on building a network that complements your strengths and fills in gaps where you need support.

Not all leaders are extroverts, and that’s okay. What matters is finding your unique style and using it to your advantage. For me, being an introvert means I’m more selective about my interactions, allowing me to engage more deeply and meaningfully. Identify your strengths and use them to build a leadership style that feels authentic to you.

After reflecting on my recent experience, I realized that the value I bring as a leader isn’t in the number of people I know but in the depth of my relationships and the authenticity of my connections. Influential leaders create value by genuinely caring about others and investing in relationships that lead to mutual growth and success.

I hope this message finds you well. I’m sharing from my heart in hopes that you will be inspired to unearth and live out your God-given purpose. Hopefully, something I said resonated. I would love to hear from you if so. Please feel free to reach out to me on social media. FYI: I’m mostly active on Instagram these days. If you were forwarded this message, you can subscribe here to receive thoughts like this directly in your inbox. And don’t forget to check out the latest episode of my podcast, ConvoRoom with Mark Allen Patterson.

See you next week,