You Don’t Get What You Want...

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We often chase goals believing that success can come from desire or sheer willpower alone, but the truth is, outcomes flow from identity.

In this edition of Remarkable Monday, I share a shift I experienced during my fitness journey that led me to realize transformation requires becoming the person who lives in alignment with the results they say they want. Whether it’s building a business, sustaining a relationship, or simply showing up for yourself — your habits reveal your true standards. Wanting is easy. Becoming costs. This story is your invitation to stop chasing and start aligning.

A Real Shift

I’ve recommitted to my fitness journey — not the crash-diet, all-in-for-three-weeks version. I’m talking about the quiet, consistent, grown-man version: meal prep, early mornings, discipline over motivation.

As I’ve progressed, I noticed something. The results I thought would make me feel accomplished weren’t showing up as fast as I’d hoped.

But the real shift? It wasn’t in the mirror. It was in my mind. I stopped chasing a number on the scale. I started becoming someone new.

The Results Belong to the Identity

Here’s what I’ve learned the hard way: You don’t get what you want. You get what you build. And you build by becoming the kind of person those results belong to.

Transformation doesn’t come to the one who wants it. It comes to the one who lives like it’s already true.

Outcomes aren’t rewards. They’re reflections. They show up when your inputs — your habits, your mindset, your rhythm — match the life you say you want.

Wanting Is Easy. Becoming Is Expensive.

You can want the six-pack.
The speaking gigs.
The thriving brand.
The healthy relationship.

But wanting is cheap.
Becoming? That costs.

It costs consistency when no one’s clapping.
It costs saying no to what once felt like comfort.
It costs reintroducing yourself — even to yourself.

Effort alone doesn’t guarantee results.
Because effort, without identity, rarely lasts.

Don’t Chase. Align.

So this week, I ask you, “What do you want?

I’m asking, What does the current version of you attract? Remember, you don’t get what you want. You get who you are.

Final Thought

You don’t need to chase.
You need to align.

So today, let the vision stay big — but let the focus stay small.

Ask yourself:
Who do I need to become for the thing I want to belong to me?

Then live like it’s already yours.

If you are reading this far…

I hope this message finds you well. I’m sharing from my heart in hopes that you will be inspired to unearth and live out your God-given purpose. Hopefully, something I said resonated. I would love to hear from you if so. Please feel free to reach out to me on social media. FYI: I’m mostly active on Instagram these days. If you were forwarded this message, you can subscribe here to receive thoughts like this directly in your inbox. And don’t forget to check out the latest episode of my podcast, ConvoRoom with Mark Allen Patterson.

See you next week,